Zen and the art of airline travel

Oh man, here you go, getting ready for that business trip or vacation flight- you just know their going to lose your luggage, cancel your connecting flight, leave you sitting on the runway, sit you between two Sumo wrestlers, etc. Well here are some hard won secrets- which came to mind for me as I take my first trip in 2 months- and unusually long period of rest for me.

1. Carry on if you can- I can do a week long business trip to Japan with a moderate carry-on bag. That means get a big briefcase/backpack (I recently went with a laptop backpack that can hold a lot) for the stuff you want to access on the flight- that has all my electronics in it. You want a side pocket on it that can hold a bottle of water, and I have a filtering bottle that I carry through security empty and then fill up from a fountain. That can save you some money and hassle, but you’ve got to remember to empty it. Make sure you go through your stuff ahead to remove anything not allowed- liquids/gels need to be in a quart size ziploc, and no more than 4oz of each with the current requirement put that in the front pocket of your carry-on suitcase. Also go through your toiletries, remove any pocket knives, cork screw etc. If you travel a lot I suggest having a dob kit just for airline travel- anyway I did that a while ago and I don’t worry I forgot to take out my shampoo. Pack light, the hotel will have shampoo and usually if you forget something like tooth paste they will have that as well.

Check the weather ahead and only bring what you need. Always bring one extra pair of underwear, t-shirt and socks. You can re-wear pants, sweaters, jackets, etc. in a pinch for the flight home. But underwear, socks and t-shirts can get really funky during travel. That is the only extra stuff you need. If you frequently travel and come back with lots of clothes that you haven’t worn, then you’re packing too much. Change the rules only if you are going some place that is “outside of the modern world”. In that case, as the boy scouts say, “be prepared” and pack extra. But if you’re going to someplace with modern amenities then “be prepared” to whip out the credit card and pay for laundering the clothes you need overnight- don’t pack 2 suits when 1 will do. Put at most one pair of shoes in the bag, and stuff them with socks to save room- more than that and you won’t get into the carry-on bag that is your goal.

Go through a checklist either on paper or in your head and be sure you have everything. Socks, underwear, t-shirts, dress shirts, pants, jacket, tie?, shoes, gym shorts, toiletries, book, laptop, ipod/ipad, sunglasses, hat?, umbrella?, charging cords for everything, passport?, badge for the office, power adapter?, headphones, phone…..

2. OK you got your carry-ons ready? Now, check in online ahead if possible- you don’t need to wait in line. And be sure to check the seat map- even if you don’t have status a lot of times you can find an exit row or other seat that is better than the one they’ve given you automatically- it even shows occupied seats- pick an aisle or window seat in 3 seat rows that leaves just the middle seat open- those are the last to fill up, so you may get lucky and have an empty seat next to you. Print up your boarding pass or even better get it sent to your mobile. If you can’t then go to an electronic kiosk at the airport when you get there- check the seat map again. If you are able to get a boarding pass ahead, then arrive 90 minutes ahead of your flight at least- otherwise 2 hours ahead is the rule for you.

3. Now Go Zen. This is the hardest part for a lot of people, but if you go in with the right attitude it’s easy. You did everything you could ahead (up top are hints, not an exhaustive list). Going Zen is the key to enjoying your trip as much as possible- and to surviving it as well as possible when you get there. Alright, so what is it? It’s a euphemism- I won’t bother trying to explain Zen philosophy because it’s impossible and I’m not a Zen master anyway- but let me explain it this way- from this point on- you’ve done what you can do, now you are at the mercy of the elements. Shit happens- and happens a lot when you travel. Let’s say you get up on Saturday morning and you want to go for a nice walk or bike ride, but it’s raining and windy outside. Gee that sucks, how do you react? Do you go out in the rain and start yelling up at the sky/gods/God that you’re really upset by the rain, and you expected better and demand to know what s/he/it is going to do to make everything alright? The zen way to go, is to make yourself a nice cup of coffee- pick out a good book/movie/album to enjoy and just relax and accept the day for what it is- that’s what you need to do at the airport. Whatever happens, keep your cool, be polite, never raise your voice, put a little smile on your face- make a joke about anything that seems annoying- you are at the mercy of the elements and you like it. Why? Because you are at the mercy of the elements, so you might as well like it- it will make it easier. Yelling at the rain won’t stop it, and yelling at the people at the airport will probably actually make them less helpful to you- imagine the rain actually getting harder if you yell at it- that is how it works. The people working there cannot control the weather or crowds or flight schedules any more than you can. If you are polite, ask for help, take it easy, show them you’re cool- not freaked- they will give you as much effort as they are willing. Yell at them, and they will go cool on you, they get yelled at a lot- and it won’t bother them- they’ll just put on a little smile of their own and send you to Hellen Wait. “I see,” they’ll say, “it’s like that is it? Well, I can’t help you, you’re going to have to go to Hellen Wait. I’ve done everything I can, and if you don’t pipe down, the nice men in the blue shirts will come and provide you some extra special attention.”

Flight cancelled? No problem I relish spending an extra night in my own bed, hanging out with my wife and kids. Nothing like a nice drive to and from the airport for listening to music or a nice audio book. Missed connection- oh good, free hotel in Chicago- nice bar at the Marriott there. Flight delay? Cool, have a beer, watch the game and relax. Nobody can complain, we’ve all been there- the airline screwed you, so you couldn’t make the meeting- the hotels have rules too to help you out. It’s going to be alright. It’s gonna work itself out. Don’t worry about the line at security- if you travel a lot you’ll get to jump ahead and you’ll learn where the short line is, but we’ve all got to stand in line from time to time. Just relax and accept it- it goes faster than you think actually. And don’t forget to be cool. Act cool, even if you don’t feel cool. My father once told me, why he never missed a day of work- he said, if your not feeling well, act like you are, after a while you start to feel better anyway, and you’ll survive it. OK that works within reason, but you get the point- act cool, just acting cool will make it easier. Roll with it, think your way out of it, ask for help if you need it and do it nicely- be cool and say- what about going through another airport? Is there another flight on another airline you could put me on? Call the help line and ask. But always be cool, remember your Zen- that will save you.